Advice For Women
Step 1: Tense Up
It's a mistake to think that you should just
lie there whilst your partner (or you yourself) plays with your clitoris
until you reach a natural climax! In fact, if you are pre-orgasmic you may find that a fair
amount of tension in the muscles of your legs, abdomen and even your buttocks can help you to
come more quickly.
It's also true that tensing the
muscles of your lower pelvis and around your genitals can help give you
an orgasm. These are the muscles that you'd use to stop the
flow of urine as you are peeing, and conscious, deliberate contraction
of those muscles - Kegel exercises - can strengthen the muscles of the bladder,
pelvis and vagina.
The connection between tension in these muscles and
reaching orgasm is as follows: tensing these muscles increases your
sexual arousal by stimulating the genitals, both with extra blood flow
and with the muscular tension itself.
Many women who masturbate by squeezing their thighs
together find later in life that they are so habituated to this method
of reaching orgasm that they cannot do so in any other way! (Although
it's always possible to learn how to come quickly in other ways.)
Step 2: Relax
To be fully able to get to orgasm, a woman needs to be relaxed,
confident and happy that she's
safe, with a partner who she desires and loves, and with whom
she really wants to have sex.
She may also need to feel emotionally connected to
him. One of
the best things that a man can offer a woman when he is trying to give a
woman an orgasm is the reassurance that she can lie back, relax, and
enjoy his attention free of anxiety, while he gives her
the space in which she can relax into
her orgasm mentally.
A woman can also repeat positive affirmations such
as, "I can take all the time I want and I will have a powerful orgasm. And if I don't it doesn't
matter because I can just relax and enjoy all the sensations." This kind of
positive self-talk can be very helpful in reassuring a woman that she's
actually in a place where she can take the time and relax enough to
fully enter into her sexual pleasure.
She can also visualize images such as this:
for example, lying in a field in the sunshine
with the sensuous sunny warmth streaming over her body and stimulating
her clitoris and
breasts. Each woman can experiment with visualization
and see what arouses her most.
There's no doubt that fantasy can be really
helpful in increasing a woman's arousal sufficiently for her to reach
orgasm more easily. Having said that, the disadvantage of fantasy is
that it takes a woman away from her partner and also from the connection
So, in summary therefore, the method
is to tense the muscles in your body in a way that makes you feel more
aroused while you simultaneously relax your mind and become open to the
possibility of moving into orgasm.
For many women the barrier is a point
just before orgasm where instead of relaxing into the orgasm and letting
it flow through them, they tense up and stop it happening. This is the
experience a woman may often have: to be on the verge of orgasm and then
to feel it slip away from her.
I Can't Reach Orgasm !
What if you really can't reach orgasm despite
all the advice on this website (and in particular in the members' area)?
Start by seeing a doctor, in case you are on medication that
is interfering with your orgasmic response.
Also, there is an FDA approved device called an
Eros which increases blood flow to the genitals - but it's only
available on prescription. However, it can certainly help some women to
get an orgasm.
There is also a variety of creams, lotions and
potions on the Internet, offered by websites of greater or lesser
honesty. Whether you try these are not is entirely up to you but
exercise a great deal of caution. If these compounds are made in
overseas factories, the conditions may be far from hygienic.
And even assuming that they are made in decent
conditions, there is no way of knowing if the active ingredients claimed
on the label are actually in the product or whether they work or not.
The fact is that over
90% of the difficulties women have in learning how to have an orgasm
stem from psychological issues, which is fantastic because it means that
you can learn to be orgasmic comparatively easily.
Consider the following questions if you are
What is there about your relationship that's
stopping you from achieving orgasm?
Do you have some kind of
Do you feel that you're not good enough?
Or is it a
much more fundamental issue that you don't really want to be having sex
with that particular person?
Spend a little time thinking about all
these issues and you may well come up with some surprising answers that
help you to establish just why you're having trouble coming (also known
as "cumming") during sex.
If you're anxious or stressed or you feel any time
pressure while you're having sex with your partner, you may not
experience an orgasm very easily.
Such things as time pressure and anxiety distance you
from your sexual arousal and inhibit the development of the relaxed
state of mind that's necessary for an orgasm -- and may make you feel
tense in your body. In particular, you can't achieve the mental
relaxation that is necessary for you to enjoy opening out into orgasm.
Self-talk which is critical definitely will prevent
you from reaching orgasm. This includes questions that you address
yourself such as "Am I doing this right? Am I going to have an orgasm?
What does he think of my body?"
To overcome this level of self-consciousness takes
sexual confidence and experience, plus a reasonable level of
self-esteem. So, if this kind of issue is affecting you, you might
want to try some kind of psychotherapy at a more general level to help
you feel better about yourself.
Having said that, many women grow into their
sexual selves and become much more confident sexually as they get more
experience: the question is whether or not you want to wait for that to
happen naturally or to speed up the process by getting some kind of
A good place to start is with the information
on how to have an orgasm on this website,
since all the material we have is exactly what you'd get from a
Finally make sure you can ask your
partner for what you want. Men have a straightforward response to sexual
stimulation - they are aroused, they get an orgasm easily (usually*), they feel good and
Yes, of course I'm exaggerating slightly, but you probably know what I
mean! A woman's orgasmic response is much more susceptible to
disturbance than a man's, and he may not understand this while trying to
give his partner an orgasm.
Unfortunately, it is often challenging for a man to
move from his own frame of reference about achieving orgasm into his
partner's, so tact, diplomacy, and open and honest communication are
of delayed ejaculation are the exception.
Here are some interesting facts concerning
the female orgasm:
1 Almost all women require
clitoral stimulation before they have an orgasm.
that many women find vaginal stimulation to be
arousing and very pleasant, but I think most women
also require clitoral stimulation to tip
them over into the actual experience of orgasm. This is true
whether or not they rub their clitorises directly with hand or
finger or a sex toy or they use friction against a pillow or some other
2 A man may be able to
give a woman an orgasm during intercourse if he first arouses
her right to the edge of orgasm before he enters her and then
continues stimulating her clitoris as they make love. This
way, she may have an orgasm as he enjoys thrusting in her
The truth is, of course, that
as soon as she starts to orgasm he's likely to ejaculate
immediately because it's an extremely powerful and exciting
experience for him.
There's nothing wrong with
this, but it can mean that he loses the ability or desire to
develop greater ejaculatory control, and this in turn may
deprive her of a significant amount of sexual pleasure derived
from the friction of his penis on her G spot.
3 Between a third and a
half of women say they don't orgasm often enough or they are not satisfied with
the quality of their orgasm.
Most of these problems
are caused by "performance anxiety", about not achieving the
right balance between physical tension, sexual arousal, and
mental relaxation and openness.
4 A whopping 33 to 50% of women experience orgasm infrequently and are
dissatisfied with how often they reach orgasm.
5 Apparently between 10 and 15% of American women have never had
an orgasm either during masturbation or with a sex partner.
This seems incredible, in what's supposed to be an enlightened
era of sexual knowledge. I'm not sure I believe it, but clearly
a significant number of women don't enjoy regular orgasm.
It's up to every woman to take charge of her sexual destiny and
make sure that she can get as many orgasms as she wishes. A
supportive partner can be very helpful here if he knows how to give
a woman an orgasm.
However, becoming fully orgasmic is often a process of
self-discovery on a much wider front, and all the tools and
techniques you need to do this are described in detail on this
More to the point, learning to reach orgasm can be great fun -
it's a wonderful journey when you discover your body's potential
for pleasure and is really enjoyable - particularly if you've
experienced shame around issues of sexuality in the past.
6 The main reasons women
cannot achieve orgasm include ignorance about their own bodies and sexuality,
and fear or anxiety around sex, guilt around sex,
and, last but not least, fear of letting go.
Advice for men: How to give a woman an orgasm - what to do if she
How to have a climax through
Reach climax during masturbation
through sensual massage for a woman
How to make yourself
have an orgasm
Becoming orgasmic through
Check out your body image
other reasons why women are anorgasmic
How to get your partner to help you come!
for men - ways to give a woman an orgasm
Social constructs of female sexual
psychotherapy and physical therapy
Classification of female sexual dysfunction and anorgasmia
orgasms they'll appreciate
How to give a
woman an orgasm during foreplay or intercourse
The best way to
reach orgasm during sexual intercourse
Discover how to
give a woman an orgasm easily!
How to make a
Advice for men - how to give
a woman an orgasm with oral sex
How men can see a woman orgasming with oral sex
Have you orgasmed? Accepting your body the way it is
you can't come - the causes of female anorgasmia
to appreciate your body and achieve orgasm
to reach orgasm through masturbation and
Men - about giving women
orgasms with sensual massage
Advice For Men: Taking A
Woman To Orgasm
Clitoral and vaginal orgasm
There hasn't been much scientific research done on
the concept of clitoral versus vaginal orgasm. Recent reports
have suggested that the G spot is
definitely an area of tissue
distinct from the majority of the vaginal wall; and also that
the G spot
does not in fact exist at all!
It's interesting that the latter report was
the result of a British study, because there's something
profoundly shadowy in the British culture about sexuality in
general, and women's sexuality in particular.
An example of this is the widespread denial
that the G spot exists: rather than accept the anecdotal
evidence that has accumulated on the Internet - let alone in
scientific research - it's easier to start from a place of
denial and say that the G spot's existence can only be proven by
The shadow, in Jungian terms, behind this approach is the denial of female sexuality. When
you think about it, the cultural context of female
sexuality may be a major factor that has led to many women finding difficulty
After all, if we suppose that all women are anatomically equipped with the same
sexual organs, nervous system, and potential sexual responsiveness, it follows that
a woman who has difficulty being
orgasmic in adult life is most likely experiencing difficulty as
a result of psychological, emotional, social or cultural influences.
These can range from
sexual abuse in childhood to the damaging influence of the media
-- which presents women both as sexual objects, and as sexual
failures if they do not achieve orgasm on a regular basis.
The reality, as most of us are aware, is that
the frequency with which women reach orgasm is probably much
lower than society as a whole tends to believe. One thing we can
state with absolute certainty is that the percentage of women
achieving orgasm during sexual intercourse is very low (around
15% or less).
And we know why this is: it's because the
clitoris does not receive much stimulation during the act of
penetration and thrusting.
Some couples overcome this difficulty by
offering extra stimulation to the clitoris from either the man
or woman during intercourse, and that's a very satisfactory
route for a couple to enjoy the pleasure of orgasm while the man
is still inside the woman.
woman who thinks she is anorgasmic simply because she cannot
have an orgasm during sexual intercourse is being misled by either
a patriarchal perception of female sexuality, or by her
faulty beliefs. There's nothing unusual about not reaching
orgasm during intercourse -- in fact it's the usual outcome for
women. Only 15 % of women or fewer come to climax during
intercourse form thrusting alone.
So how is it then, that some women claim to be able to
reach orgasm during intercourse on a regular basis?
and obvious answer is that they use additional clitoral
stimulation. The second possibility is that they find a position
for sexual intercourse where the thrusting of the male partner
pulls on the clitoris -- this is likely to happen, or at least
more likely to happen, if a woman has long labia. And the third
possibility is that they climax through vaginal
thrusting because the man's penis is stimulating the woman's G
I believe the G spot actually exists. It's
true there are plenty of women who deny they have a G spot. But
it's also true that there are plenty of women who have gone
through a process of awakening their G spot and becoming
sexually sensitive in this area.
And in truth, the man who want to give his
woman an orgasm need not know anything about the G spot if he
doesn't wish to find out about it, for the clitoris alone is a
powerful route to sexual pleasure for a woman....
Even So, G Spot Orgasms Feel
Deborah Sundahl, who
more than anybody else has explored the nature and possibility
G spot orgasm in her
books, has written eloquently of the nature of G spot orgasm. It
seems that when a woman is truly open at all levels to her
sexual partner her body behaves in a slightly different way.
Deborah has explained how the innervation
of the area of the G spot is different to the innervation of the
clitoris. This supports the possibility of G spot orgasm being
something different to the clitoral orgasm.
And if stimulating the G spot does indeed
stimulate different nerves, then it's likely that a G spot
orgasm, or at having an orgasm in which G spot stimulation is
involved, is going to be a different experience to an orgasm
achieved by stimulation of the clitoris alone.
A lot of people believe the G spot needs to
be "sensitized" before a woman becomes sexually responsive to G
spot stimulation. I've heard many, many stories of women who
have learned, through taking Tantric sex courses, or through the
loving attention of a partner with whom they felt completely
safe, that G spot sensitivity can increase over time.
But what does increasing the sensitivity
of the G spot actually mean? It means something like becoming
more aware of it as a source of sexual pleasure, and it might
even mean training the nerves and tissues of the area to become
sexually responsive to stimulation of the right kind.
This is clearly where a woman's partner has a role to play in
giving a woman an orgasm.
It also takes a particular state of
arousal for a woman to respond to G spot stimulation and get to
orgasm. It isn't just a matter of being well lubricated,
although this is part of the story. It's more about how a
woman's emotional responses to her sexual partner can help drive
her bodily sexual responses.
But most of all it appears to me to mean a
woman opening up psychologically and emotionally to her lover;
opening her heart to him and perhaps even exposing the depths of
her feminine vulnerability to him.
It's my experience that vaginal
lubrication follows sexual desire and arousal, but the swelling
of the G spot from its usual, slightly ribbed feeling into a
tumescent, smooth, engorged area of tissue only takes place when
a woman is freely feeling very loving towards her partner and
she feels his love in return. (Or is it a matter of respect or
trust rather than love?)
When she's achieved this state of arousal,
a man with a finger on her G spot can produce very different
sensations to those from a finger on her clitoris alone.
It's much more of a whole body sensation,
which won't surprise anybody who's studied Tantric sex, where
the G spot is the gateway to allowing sexual energy to flow all
round the body.
And he can give a woman an orgasm easily.
Discovering the G spot, responding to it,
and finding the effects that it has a woman's emotional state,
her sexual energy, and her overall sense of well-being is part
of the journey of developing sexuality that every woman must
take during her life: it's just that some women don't get past
the starting gate.
So, you know where I stand on the issue of
the G spot: I believe that it exists, and I believe that it can
allow man to give a woman a different, a deeper kind of
However, if you trawl the further reaches
of the Internet, particularly if you have an interest in female
ejaculation, you'll come across many video clips which suggest
that the level of stimulation required to take a woman into an
ecstatic orgasmic state through stimulating the G spot inside
her vagina alone is extremely high.
And while there's little doubt from
watching these video clips that the women are receiving massive
pleasure, but the level of stimulation, usually delivered with a
finger or two, or sometimes by means of a machine like the
machine for women, is so vigorous both in terms of pressure and
speed that it looks slightly unnerving.
Science Comes To The Rescue -
Give Us All Orgasms!
However, there has been some research done
on the subject of vaginal orgasm which I'm going to report here.
It was conducted by Stuart Brody and Petr Weiss and reported in
the Journal of
The aim of this study was to investigate the extent to
which a woman's ability to have an orgasm through vaginal
stimulation was related to factors in her emotional and
psychological development such as sexual education during
childhood, awareness of vaginal sensations during
intercourse, the duration of intercourse, and the size of her
The authors start by saying that women who
have experienced vaginal orgasm express greater satisfaction
with not only their sex life, but their emotional health, and
their relationships - with sexual partners, friends and indeed
life in general.
They apparently also experience more
frequent sexual desire and also display a physiologically more
"normal" gait than women who have not experienced vaginal
orgasm. (That indicates a lower level of musculoskeletal
blockage, tension and neurotic disturbance.)
Indeed when you read this piece of
research, you wonder why all women are not striving madly for
vaginal orgasms because the authors claim that the more vaginal
orgasms a woman has had in the previous month, the more positive
she is about her relationship quality, intimacy, love and
passion, and the less she uses psychological defense mechanisms.
(I've claimed many times on my
websites that an orgasmic woman is a "happy" woman; so I'm
interested to read that the authors of this study have
apparently established such a close connection between emotional
satisfaction and vaginal orgasms.)
Mind you, everything that follows, based
on the research paper in question,
is my interpretation and mine alone. Any errors of interpretation are entirely mine
The vaginal orgasm does involve different
neural pathways to clitoral orgasm. One of the possible reasons
why vaginal orgasm has not received more acceptance is that
women are simply not as well informed about the possibility of
vaginal orgasm as they are about the clitoral orgasm.
For example, are women actually aware of
the possibility of reaching orgasm through vaginal stimulation,
and if they are not, would it ever happen?
Well, I venture to suggest that if their
man is unable to provide enough stimulation during intercourse
by vaginal thrusting - which requires more ejaculatory
control than most men are given - he will not be able to take a
woman to orgasm during intercourse.
Does Penis Size Have Anything To
Do With Giving A Woman An Orgasm?
The vagina has a lot of nerve endings
throughout its length -- a fact which contradicts the commonly
quoted statement that the vagina is comparatively insensitive --
so it may well be that a larger penis is able to stimulate it
more than a smaller one.
Therefore, study investigated whether or
not a man's ability to give a woman an orgasm through
penile-vaginal intercourse was related in any way to the size of
the penis of her partner.
The research was conducted in 2008 with a sample of women
representative of the Czech population over the age of 15. The
researchers provided a written survey to all women who agreed to
take part asking about their age, how often they experienced
orgasm during penile-vaginal intercourse (making sure that it was
clearly specified that this related simply to orgasm produced by
thrusting of the penis and vagina without additional stimulation
from fingers or sex toys), and the estimated length of foreplay and
sexual intercourse in minutes.
They also asked questions about what the women
were taught during sex education about the method of reaching
orgasm and about their preference for penis size.
They were also asked if they were more
likely to have an orgasm with a man who had a longer or shorter
than average penis. The measuring device was a 200 Crown Czech
banknote - which was 14.5 cm long; this was assumed to represent
the length of the average erect male penis. In fact, that is
about right, give or take a smidgen. (This may be a misplaced
question, for a lot of women regard penile girth as more
important than length in producing satisfying sensations during
You can read a whole lot more about
sex techniques and positions here, including advice for
men with a long and short penis about the best sex
positions for their pleasure, and the best sex positions to give
a woman an orgasm.
The women had a
variety of answers available to them for all these questions on a four or five point scale.
Analysis of the answers were used to calculate any
correlation between a woman's ability to have a vaginal
orgasm and her age, duration of foreplay, the length of
intercourse, her ability to focus on the sensations she was
receiving from her vagina, and on the length of her partner's
Obviously some of these women did not have
enough experience to be able to make
comparisons between partners, a factor that was taken into
account in the analysis. The researchers also applied multiple
regression analysis to these factors to work out relationships
between vaginal orgasm and one or more of the potential sources of
The researchers used 1000 women - a response rate of 53%
- and of these 1000 women 917
provided information about vaginal orgasm; the remainder
either had never had a vaginal orgasm or they chose not to
answer that question.
Now here's the first problem for me: the
women's answers suggest that 50% of
women reach orgasm during intercourse, and over 80% had had what
they called a vaginal orgasm. These are numbers that
do not match much more widely quoted figures
available on the Internet.
Anyway, pressing on, of 416 women, 142
reported that they were more likely to experience vaginal
orgasm with a longer than average penis, while 242 claimed that they
reached orgasm equally well with both long and short penises,
and the final 32 said that they reached orgasm more easily when
the penis was short. (The implication being the bigger the
penis, the more nerve endings it can stimulate in the vagina.)
Women who were taught in sex ed that
stimulation of the vagina
was capable of producing orgasm said they had more vaginal
orgasms that women who were not given this information. But the
problem with this conclusion is that it relies on the women's
memory - a very unreliable methodological
tool. See what
Deborah has to say on the subject.
The researchers make the
observation that previous work has suggested that "investment"
in the clitoris is a barrier to the development of adult female
sexual responsivity -- which they, in a rather Freudian
manner, label as mature psychosexual development, referring
even to "intractable difficulties" in educating and assisting
vaginally anorgasmic women to experience orgasm during
Kestenberg suggested that a woman's resistance to the concept
of vaginal orgasm evolved in a two-stage process: first, a woman
relies on clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, and secondly
defends against feeling, mechanisms which both impair her
ability to reach vaginal orgasm.
The researchers observed that
women who have been given a view of female sexuality based on
the clitoris as the centre of orgasmic response have impaired
ability to have a vaginal orgasm.
The discoverer of the G spot,
Perry, said as long ago as 1984 that for the past 30 years most
gynecologists have been telling women that the vaginal orgasm
does not exist, and the consequence of that is that fewer and
fewer of them were actually having vaginal orgasms. Perry called
this one of the most heinous iatrogenic illnesses ever
perpetrated on Western civilization.
He also said that learning to masturbate
by using only the clitoris as a means of sexual stimulation,
which he claimed had been basically the way women had been
taught to masturbate for 30 years, was in fact preventing women
from developing normal vaginal sensitivity.
Needless to say the researchers in the
current paper used this to support their conclusions. It's a
startling thought that women are being deprived of vaginal
orgasm just because of the way society has culturally and
socially framed their sexuality. And men, too, fall prey to this
belief system, not even trying to give a woman an orgasm by
vaginal stimulation because they simply don't know it's possible
to do so.....
It is therefore no surprise to learn that
women who were taught, or claimed that they had been taught,
that the vagina was an important region for female orgasm
claimed a higher level of vaginal orgasm than those who were
taught that the clitoris is the region that needs to be
stimulated before a woman reaches orgasm.
(Knowing the state of sex education in
Britain I have to say that I find this frankness of education
somewhat surprising, although it may be that the Czech Republic
handles these things differently to other countries.)
The researchers observed that a woman
whose view of female orgasm centers on the clitoris has an
impaired ability to achieve orgasm during partnered sex, but her
general orgasmic function is not affected.
We should deal with the objection to the
idea that women can come through vaginal orgasm during
intercourse due to indirect clitoral stimulation.
evidence against this idea is the fact that penile stimulation
of the vagina, and especially of the cervix, stimulates not only
the pudendal nerve activated by the clitoris, but also the
pelvic, hypogastric, and vagus nerves, which do not show
significant stimulation from the region of the clitoris.
Indeed, stimulation of both the cervix and
the vagina in woman with complete spinal cord injury (which
means that the brain has no connection to the clitoris, but
receives stimulation apparently from the vagus nerve which is
induced by the penis buffeting the woman's cervix) can lead to
orgasm. The researchers observed that the vagus nerve has also
got an association with processes of attention, emotional
regulation, and possibly even pair bonding. And because the
vagus nerve has parasympathetic cardiovascular effects, it isn't
too surprising that people who had had penile vagina intercourse
in the two weeks before a laboratory stress test showed lower
blood pressure reactivity and faster blood-pressure recovery
than those who had not have sexual activity. It's not hard to
see a physiological basis to explain how a woman who regularly
has vaginal orgasms will be more relaxed and happy, and able to
enter more fully into relationship and partnership with a man.
The researchers make the rather cynical
observation that post-Kinsey doctrinaire attempts to inculcate a
belief in the general population that penile length has no
significance during intercourse are refuted by the widespread
acceptance that penis
size (length)is important. (Although how they
reached the conclusion that there is such a "widespread"
acceptance is not stated). Using this implicit acceptance -- the
origin of which is not specified -- as the base for that
argument they then go on to say that even if a particular penis
is not long enough to stimulate the cervix and uterus, a woman
can still have a vaginal orgasm from stimulation of those parts
of the vagina nearer the opening.
They baldly state that the evidence of
their research shows that women who are qualified to make the
comparison (that is to say by virtue of the number of sexual
partners they have had) state that they are more likely to have
an orgasm during penile-vaginal intercourse with a long penis
with a short one. (They also speculate that men with a long penis
might be better lovers, which a statement that takes this
research from the realms of science into fantasy.)
Even more fantastical, they conclude that
the orgasmic consistency of a woman is in fact associated with
the duration of penile-vaginal intercourse but not with the
duration of foreplay. That runs counter to every woman's
experience that I've ever heard about, which leads me to believe
that while some parts of this study may be accurate, others are
definitely speculative. And if you still cannot achieve orgasm.....well,
perhaps the way to go is to use treatment for sexual dysfunction
- you can often find this online. For men with premature
ejaculation issues, it is vital to get good information about premature ejaculation control for men, so you can overcome this
problem and last longer in bed. Needless to say,
stopping premature is tricky - if it wasn't, then more men would
do it! Controlling ejaculation can be like stopping a runaway
train - it carries on until it crashes off the rails...you
therefore need to get a sex therapist available for online
counseling, one who can tell you bow to control your
ejaculation, how to
make a woman orgasm before you enter her, and how to pleasure
her as she needs during intercourse. Such sexual dysfunction
cures may allow you as a couple to enjoy simultaneous orgasm.
In general however their conclusions are
sound: that sex education, sexual medicine, and social policy
need not only to be supportive of women's health, but also to be
supportive of the concept of vaginal orgasm.
I would go further:
even if vaginal orgasm does not exist (although I believe very
firmly that it does), it is inappropriate to educate women to
believe that the clitoris is the only source of sexual
For one thing, both the routine experience of women
during sex and ample scientific research demonstrate that a
woman has a more powerful orgasm when clitoral stimulation is
supplemented by stimulation on the area of the G spot. That much
obvious to any man who gives any woman an orgasm on a regular
And it's also true that some sexual positions will be more
effective than others at stimulating the G spot - though of
course it also depends to some extent on the shape and size of
the man's penis.
Kama Sutra's sex
recognized this centuries ago - by observing that a man with
small genitals needs to have sex with a similar woman, and that
matches between men and women with very different sized genitals
would not provide pleasure.
However, having said that, the
researchers' intentions are in the right place (propagating the
view that the G spot exists), for they make the observation that
many North American university courses -- even women's studies
courses -- include as standard, texts that falsely claim that
vaginal orgasm doesn't exist or is very rare. Because the
vaginal orgasm is considered to be a myth created by a
patriarchal view of female sexuality - thanks, Sigmund.
There is certainly a wide range of
empirical evidence, and anecdotal evidence, that demonstrates
those anti-vaginal orgasm statements are false. More
importantly, if the conclusions about the benefits of vaginal
orgasm stated in their study are true, these assumptions are
also damaging to women's health in general and sexual health and
well-being in particular.
Assertions that vaginal orgasms are a myth
alienate women from men and from their own sexual well-being and